Breaking Up

I was reading a post of someone I know who went through a break up … and like the song goes breaking up is HARD to do. There really is no easy way to do it. I’ve been through a couple myself and now that I’m older and hopefully, a little wiser too, I’m actually very grateful I never married my first love :p No offence to him, in fact, he and a couple of others through my time with them and through our break ups taught me so much … made me who I am, the woman that my husband wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

I dated quite a number of people but major relationships, I’d say I had 3. 3 that left deep impressions on me and when they ended made me ponder on who I wanted to be with and the kind of person I wanted to be in a relationship.

So if there’s anything I’ve learnt about relationships and breaking up it’s that you can’t do it by yourself. It’s a shared thing, as cliche as it sounds, it does actually take two hands to clap. I’m the sort who even before marriage never started a relationship just to try things out. It was always for the long haul for me. So when things got bad, I’d hold on as long and try as hard as I can to make things work. Sometimes I found that I lost myself and other times the person I was originally with was no longer there. Each time it never got easier but I learnt.

  1. There’s nothing you can do, if the other person has already walked away. So when you want to get married, look for someone who’s going to fight as hard as you to keep it together. Lord knows, you may be the one who needs help to hold on and keep fighting. There are no guarantees in life but I reckon, better start there.
  2. It is truly sad and not to mention rather pathetic, to be with someone and yet feel lonely. I know now I much rather be alone and be justified in my loneliness than be with someone who makes me feel lonely.
  3. Like. You have to like the person you’re going to share the rest of your life with … simply because the passion, that crazy, can’t eat, can’t breath type of passion, the one that usually causes people to get together, it doesn’t last. It comes and goes like the ebb and flow of the tide … more than that, it’s something you have to keep working on and during the dry spells or low tide, at the very least you guys like each other 😉
  4. Compromise but never lose yourself. This for me was the toughest lesson to learn. I’ve learnt it alright but I no where close to mastering it. It’s a balancing act and for me in marriage, it’s something I’m still trying to get right … and quite honestly, so is my husband :p
  5. And there are always second chances, from all my failed relationships and those I’ve witnessed around me, love is always around the corner 🙂 So never stay in an unhealthy relationship because you think there’s no hope. For one thing, you ALWAYS deserve better 🙂

I’m not quite sure who this post is written for and maybe when one of my nieces or nephew is going through a breakup, I can send them a link to this post. In a nutshell, break ups are tough but necessary, they help us become better halves and teach us the kind of wholes we want to be a part of. So when you find that someone who completes you, you know you never want to let them go 🙂

Marina Bay Sands and Post National Day

So it’s the day after National Day and we’re all done with everything red and white … ‘cept, why do I still feel like the long weekend wasn’t long enough :p It’s the day after and all I can say about my stay at the Marina Bay Sands, is that they are SO not ready to be opened. With over 2500 rooms, it’s a logistical nightmare on most days but with the Sky Park and half the rooms facing the fireworks display of the annual NDP (that’s short for National Day Parade) they should have anticipated chaos. However, they weren’t even close to managing the insanity. I felt sorry for their staff who by about 2pm yesterday was probably just apologizing more than anything else :p

Just like RWS, my stay at MBS was still a hoot because of three little munchkins 🙂

Poor Rachael was hit with a bug half way through the weekend and had to head home but not before enjoying the pool and the view at MBS.

The first day that we were at MBS, the crowds were still managable and the pool was rather fun to hang out in. By yesterday, it made the Ang Mo Kio public pool look like 6 star hotel one :p I’m just grateful, we got there earlier and had time to spend in the pool before the chaos hit.

I also tried to take a pic of Rachael and me but she just thought her Godma is a little loony. Can’t say she’s entirely wrong :p

As soon as the sun set, we were back up at the Sky Park, checking out the view by night. I have to say, while it isn’t the highest vantage point in Singapore, it is a very pretty one.

This was the side I preferred. The city skyline is gorgeous too but this had a more serene feel to it and when you’re up that high … serenity is more the mood for me 🙂

Fast forward to yesterday, we enjoyed the sights of the parade from our room on the 28th floor. Needless to say, it was the kids who were enjoying themselves as the planes flew up and they caught sight of the parachute troopers making their descent into the padang.

When the finale came around, adults and kids alike were glued to the window.

You know what’s my favourite thing about sleep overs? When the kids sleep 🙂

That’s when the monkeys miraculously disappear and the angels appear 🙂 And here’s another reason why I reckon people keep having children :p

So all in all I did have a really good National Day. Happy 45th, Singapore!!

National Day Eve

My munchkins got a room at the Marina Bay Sands … Their father, my cousin was the one who got the room and that’s the view from our room. Needless to say, I’m excited about the fireworks tomorrow. If it isn’t explicitly clear, I’m enjoying my long weekend quite a bit 🙂

What Happened in July?

I’m not quite sure either :p  I realised I had only one post in July and the next time I had time to think, it was August.  Am I getting bored with posting … with developing an opinion … with recording memories … quite evidently no, since the start of August has seen a renewed burst of energy to keep this blog some what alive.

I’m just not sure what happened with July.

The being unsure … that’s a little unlike me but I’m learning my 30s are somewhat of a whole new experience.  I’m definitely not where I was 10 years ago and no where close to where I thought I’d be … and maybe that’s part of being unlike me.

Me.  I reckon ‘me’ is going through a metamorphosis.  I thought I was over with all that … I remember going through one at 13 and another at 19 and yet another at 27.  So at 35, I’m learning change is the only thing that is constant.  Someone famous said that already … Oscar Wilde … no, not quite a Wilde quote but I’m digressing.

I’m really interested to see ‘me’ one year from now and understand why everything is happening around me.  Time machines?  Where can I go to get my hands on one?  Till then, it’s a roller coaster ride I’m trying to have fun with 😉

Here’s to a very Happy National Day Weekend to everyone!!

Another Day at the Zoo

We had such a great time last year, we thought we do it all over again.  With Uncle Jason and Nicole, my munchkins and I spent a fun filled first of August at the zoo.  What I’ve realised is that in this short span of 9months, the kids have lost some of their baby-ness and are turning into little children.

That was taken last year in December and this year in August, they seem to have grown so much :p  Maybe it’s just me.

And my nephew has taken to not smiling in photos … at least in this one he isn’t closing his eyes, which is his thing right now.  The adults though barely changed … or that’s what we hope :p

This was us from December 2009, while the following was from last week.

Below is Uncle Jason with the kids, on the left is the one from December 2009 and the right is from the 1st of August 2010.

Can’t wait for the next visit to the zoo … especially now that we’re Friends of the Zoo I’m going to bet it’ll be more than once a year 😉  The thing about the Singapore Zoo, you can’t help but be impressed … and I’m not particularly fond of zoos but I do think the Singapore Zoo tries their very best.   I don’t know about the kids but I’m already planning for our next visit … maybe in September 🙂


I have this urge to go look for Following, Memento and Insomnia now that I’ve seen Inception … TWICE.  Yes, I’ve seen the movie twice in about 10days.  I’m up for a Chris Nolan (san The Batman series … not that they were bad … just not in the same vein) retrospective … who’s up for it?

Meanwhile, if you haven’t seen Inception, I don’t know what you’re waiting for.  Trust me when I say it’ll leave you rather speechless for a bit when you leave the cinema.  Essentially the story is about a world where people can go into your dreams and steal your secrets from your subconscious.

For me, the film begs the question on reality and what is it?  Dreams becoming real and reality is another form of dreaming.  Have I lost you?  And you haven’t even seen the film yet.  If you have, you’ll know what I mean and also wish that someone would give Leonardo DiCaprio an Oscar already :p

So Chris Nolan retrospective anyone?


No siree, I’m not a mother … not yet anyway.  Meanwhile, I’m watching a new drama series – Parenthood.  Think Brothers and Sisters with little people.  I guess it’s speaking to me on various levels … mostly, reflecting on the job my parents did on my sister and me.  I’ve always known I’ve got cool parents, a lot of people, my friends and cousins included would agree.  By most standards, they would win the Best Parents award hands down but I never realised their uber coolness until they became parents-in-law.

Being an in-law is tough and being a parent-in-law takes grace and elegance that I’m so grateful I can learn from while watching my parents in action.  One has no choice to love your own children and you have a chance of molding them into little you but with children-in-laws, you had no part in their upbringing and you actually don’t have to love them.  So when I watch my parents and my husband, I can’t help but be amazed at the patience they extend to each other, the open minds to learn from one another and the open hearts to be the best support they can be.

Times like these I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a parent – the ability to love unconditionally and be the safety net so that your children and children-in-law alike can have the freedom to make the choices you never had the luxury to do.  Lord knows I have big shoes to fill when I do become a parent 🙂

Thank you HEAPS Daddy and Mummy!!!  Love you both LOTS LOTS LOTS 🙂