The Art of Being an Adult Child

This weekly post is a day late because I’m sitting in the Bali airport waiting for my flight to go back home to Singapore. It was the first solo weekend getaway with my Mum, it was also her first time to Bali. And it was a success, imho 🙂

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I’ve managed to make my Mum fall in love with Bali as much as I do. Honestly, before I wasn’t sure because there’s certain things my Mum doesn’t like … messy developing states and humid weather, just to name a couple but she does LIKE Bali, its massages and chilling by the villa!! That’s what I like being an adult child, being the one who opens our parents mind to something different, something new, something they would never do on their own. They did it for us while we were growing up and now as they are learning to get use to the next phase of their life -their silver years. They have to get use to us, the adult child being the ones who do the parenting.

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It’s so easy to see the stuff our parents do that drive us crazy, you know the stuff we complain about and eventually become 😉 Yah, those parts. For better or worse, I’m grateful I like my parents and if I’m eventually going to be like them, it isn’t going to be that bad. For me at least, not sure about my husband 🙂 Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t perfect … far from it but they’ve who I got and they made me. You’ve heard the saying, ” Karma’s a bitch.” I’m my parents karma despite their pretty easy going ways raising me, I’m not an easy going adult child. I’m not quite sure why, I’m just not. I yell, I’m bossy and I’m controlling as hell but I’m learning trying to figure out life, being an adult, being me and when it comes to my parents, being an adult child.

I read a good advice somewhere once about how to be a good parent. It was simple. Just show up, be present and be there. It’s true, it really is quite that simple. You can’t always be there, can’t always be present and other times you simply can’t show up. Things happen, they do but you try your darn-est. Kids will get it. Me and my sister do.

So that’s what I’m learning about being an adult child, just try my best to show up, be present and be there. Next, to show up and be present while trying to open my parents’ mind to Google Drive and Dropbox 🙂

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Fairy Tales and Survivor

Survivor, the reality TV series is in its 34th season. Yes, 34 and among my social circles, I’m one of the very few who still watches it. Most of my dearest and nearest can’t quite understand and wonder why I still do.

Well, it’s because it’s really like real life. Every season I watch it going, “OMG that’s exactly what happens in the office or on the roads to at a sale in a department store.” In the TV series, I get why these contestants can get ruthless, they could possibly get a million dollars at the end. In my real life, I don’t understand why some people can be the worst version of themselves for the most insignificant of rewards. Maybe for them, it may not be a million dollars but enough to throw human decency out of the window.

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But but but every so often there will be a season that makes me realise in Survivor or real life, good guys do and can win. Not often, just enough and that’s all I need. The world IS filled with shitheads and douchebags. I’ve even had the unfortunate opportunity to be acquainted with some of them but I don’t live for them and all the toxicity they bring.

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I live for the fairy tale moments shared between kind, compassionate souls. And truth be told, even shitheads and douchebags are capable of them and those are the moments, the good days that make everything else worth while. Like the last episode of Survivor: Game Changers, the moment when crazily competitive contestants let a Mama goat and her kid go and choosing not to kill them for food. I never thought I’d ever see it on Survivor. When I did, my heart warmed up and knew at the end of the day decent humanity will always triumph.

 

Kong: Skull Island

Alright there will be spoilers so if you haven’t seen Kong – Skull Island and don’t want to know anything except that it is a really fun ride, please stop reading now.

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For the rest of you, it’s Monsters on an Island and Samuel L. Jackson doesn’t win but the creature work is breath taking. It’s a good monster movie with enough eye candy to keep everyone happy. Geeks because there’s so many so many monsters and monsters going full on at it with each other. Well animated monsters with out of this world abilities. Happy happy  happy. Girls too, will be happy, there’s Tom Hiddleston ‘nuff said and the boys have Brie and Jing who managed to keep their hair in place the whole movie. Even when they were running from monsters, out of this world type of monsters.

Story wise, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting so I think that’s why I was sufficiently satiated. Like I said, it’s a monster movie so keeping it real is a good way to go. I was expecting out of this world creature work though and I wasn’t disappointed. My fascination with creatures started when I was about 7 and saw the Kraken come alive in Clash of the Titans. The next time I was 18 and after watching Jurassic Park, I walked out of Lido believing that dinosaurs were well and alive. ILM definitely did not disappoint again and it was extra warm and fuzzy because ILM Singapore had a big hand in this movie too. Kong was awesome as the beast with amazingly believable eyes. The eyes  always give bad computer graphics away and that’s why I wasn’t disappointed. The director Jordan Vogt-Roberts sets up the scenes with the eyes really well too where the close ups of the human’s eyes and Kong’s eyes were shot in the same way. Now I am really excited about Kong vs Godzilla now! Something to look forward to in 2020.

Till then, I did fall in love with Kong and somewhere in my heart, I do long to be the girl in the middle of his palm and then I start to wonder what would he smell like?

Kit Kats and the Afterlife

Today is my Grandfather’s birthday. He would have been 88 so I’ll say a little prayer, have a Kit Kat and remember that all my fiesty-ness comes from him. My Kongkong loved Kit Kat. When he was in his wheelchair and barely had any teeth left, he’d still smack his jaws together and ate Kit Kat. It’s been more than a decade since he called heaven home, I still can’t see a bar of Kit Kat, not think of my Kongkong and wonder what happens in the afterlife.

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I grew up Catholic and for all intent and purpose, I suppose I’m still a practicing Catholic but as I venture into my 40s, I have a more complete understanding of spirituality. No one can actually tell you what happens after you die. Some have tried and whether you believe them or not comes down to faith. My faith was built on Christianity but my unspoken understanding of what happens when we die comes from somewhere much less structurally cognisant.  Not something I can articulate clearly but death always gave me some kind of comfort. Sad for sure, only because I’ve lost the physical form of someone I love. For whatever reason, it wasn’t a fearful concept and when my first grandparent passed away, I was even more certain when it’s my turn, they will be on the other side and I have absolutely nothing to worry about. Just lots of catching up to look forward to 🙂

Does it come from my Catholic faith? I don’t think so. Is it past lives? Catholics don’t believe in past lives and that’s a concept I can’t quite get my head around. That’s a whole other post I can write about. Back to afterlife, I don’t have a logical explanation but I always seem to innately know there is life after death. It was never a question for me. Life just continues, keeps going, I don’t know how but something in me just knows it does. I’m definitely not saying I’m right, I could totally totally be wrong. Who knows? If there’s any way I can come back and let you know, I will.

Meanwhile, this 40 something tries to take in each moment and remember in the scheme of eternity this moment is literally a blink of an eye. With that, in this sliver of time called today, I’ll throw a little caution to the wind and have myself a Kit Kat 🙂

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