16,790 Days To Go

One of my cousins, Gerald turned 30 earlier this year and proposed an interesting concept to me.  Assuming that he lives till 100, he has another 25,550 days more to go.  25,550 isn’t much when you think of it.  That truly puts things in perspective.

So what’s my count?  I already kinda have a hunch 84 is when I’ll be calling it quits 🙂  As I turn 38 today, that makes it only 16,790 days.  I have to honest and say this count did make me a little breathless at first.  Like I was running out of time.  Then I took a step back, inhaled a good ‘ole deep breathe and looked at the number again.

It is just that another number.

Turning 38 gives you just enough wisdom to know you can’t let your life be ruled by numbers.  Turning 38 means you’ve had enough experience to know that no matter how many or how little you have, every single day counts.  Turning 38 is just that – another number, another day in a journey called life.

With 13,870 in the bag, I’m looking forward to the rest of the 16,790 days.  Almost halfway there 🙂  I’ve been very blessed and truly haven’t been given anything I can’t handle.  My hunch is life will turn out as it will, all I can do is to live every day doing my best, thinking well of others and spreading kindess and love where I can.

I may being turning 38 today but it is no different from any other day.  Here’s sending you beautiful and happy thoughts that you may smile a little more today than you did yesterday.

Oh yah and happy birthday to my fellow Feb 24-ers too!!  Yep, that’s especially for Nige and Linli 🙂

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2 Nieces and 2 Nephews

That’ll be the new count for me come May 18th this year 🙂  That’s only 3 months away!!  My little cousin, Valerie who really isn’t so little anymore, is going to be a Mummy!!  Technically she already is one and I can’t wait to cuddle the latest addition to my munchkins.

I still remember my aunt being pregnant with my cousin and going to the hospital the day she was born.  I was only 9 and the bassinet she was in came up to my eye level.  I looked straight at her and I could have sworn she smiled at me 🙂 Yes yes yes, it was probably gas and what not but the 9 year old me was sure, my latest cousin had picked her favourite one, me.  So I can’t wait to meet little Baby 陈 where 38 year old me is anxious to share the same moment with him!!  Yah, don’t tell the rest of his 陈 aunts and there’s 7 of us in total, 2 from Daddy and 5 from Mummy but I think I’m going to be his favourite :p

Truly, I didn’t know I’d enjoy being an aunt as much as I do.  It is a privilege I remind myself constantly not to take for granted.  Having little people want to hang out with you not because they have to but because they want to and much more than that, seeing the world again through their eyes.  As life gets in the way, it’s so easy to forget the little miracles and when the little people in your life discover them, you’re reminded how precious life really is.

I’m looking forward to Baby 陈 showing me, his favourite aunt 😉 the world again.  Can’t wait little one!!

Growing Old Together

Last month one of my dearest friend sent me this:-

And it’s oh so true!!  I really can’t wait to grow old with my friends that I have.  It’s something to do with growing older and knowing that toxic friends are a complete waste of time.  I never knew this growing up.  True story, as a young child I thought as long as you are strong to your own values, it doesn’t matter what kind of friends you have.  Both my grandmas always told me to hang around good people.  Never knew how true that was till I was half way through my 30s.  Really good friends make you want to be better versions of yourselves, never worse.  I also read this somewhere so I can’t take credit for it, I’ll bury bodies for my friends so I choose them carefully.  Couldn’t be more true 🙂

Happy to say, the friends I have now are just the kind I know will bury bodies for me and I will for them.  They are truly good people, with good hearts who are just trying their best everyday.

Happy Valentine’s Day to my friends who in their own different ways taught me that blood may be thicker than water but it is just as nourishing when you need it.

in·er·tia

noun

inertness, especially with regard to effort, motion, action, and the like; inactivity; sluggishness.

Sometimes I feel, despite the progress we’ve made on so many things, we’re still stuck on just as many other things.  What am I talking about?

This post is exactly 2 weeks old today.  Simply because I had a lot of thoughts when I first read it and like my previous post on Equality, I gave myself some time to ponder and reflect.

In the new year of the Snake, we can agree to disagree and keep this old law in our current legal system but here’s my proposal, let’s bring back an even older law that both the straight and gay communities would have no problems to – outlaw adultery.  It’s been a really long long time since it was a criminal offence.  At some point, even the most conservative thought it was ok that it no longer be considered a crime or that they were so small a voice, the rest of society thought it was ridiculous to criminalise it.  If our conservative roots reckon that being gay breaks down the family unit, yadda yadda yadda, they have to agree with me that adultery has a more extensive impact on society.  Case in point, Singapore’s sex scandals in the year of the Dragon, it affected not only families but also whole constituencies.  Make adultery a crime and maybe the breaking down of family units that we are so worried about will come to a grinding halt.

Sounds ridiculous?

So does saying that keeping 377A will uphold values that is important to the Singaporean core, even if it is only the conservative core.  Ok, I’m exaggerating and that’s not exactly what the government or PM is saying but keeping this old law in our current legal system is like saying yes, it’s ok to treat people who are different from us as criminals.  That is no hyperbole.  This is what keeping 377A means.

Being gay is no different from being a single parent, from being a adopted, from being schizophrenic, from being a woman, from being Chinese.  People don’t choose to be these ways and when there is a perception of choice involved, it really isn’t a choice.  To make that a crime goes against the grain of everything I hope for Singapore – a considerate and empathetic society that can overcome any storm, in spite of our differences.

Conservative or otherwise, I don’t think anyone will disagree with me that treating someone as a criminal for just being different is a very heavy thing to do.  If I haven’t been clear, I am not really suggesting we make it illegal to cheat though I don’t think I’ll  have any problems garnering support for that.  My point is this, society, especially the conservative roots does a good enough job on shaking their heads to adultery and it isn’t something any of us, progressive,conservative, straight or gay, want to happen to our families.  Sure, mistakes happen but it isn’t a crime. So why should 377A still exist? Even with criminal mistake, we all understand and forgive.

To be very clear, this is what I’m trying to say, being gay is not a mistake.  It is being different and it isn’t about forgiveness, it’s about acceptance and exactly why 377A has no place in our home today.

蛇年行大运

I don’t know about you but as I get ready to have reunion dinner, I’m so looking forward to the Chinese New Year weekend.  It’s always fun to enjoy the revelry of all that is the new year celebrations but this year, I’m expecting it to be quieter and all for good reason too.  I want to be like a snake and chill :p  It has been crazy lately but with major clients in Asia celebrating the lunar new year, I’ll be able kick back and relax too.

The year of the Dragon was pretty good to me and all signs point to the year of the Snake being really really busy.  After ushering the new year in as restful a way as I hope, I’m going to be ready for whatever craziness the Snake will bring.  After all you only live once, right?   Also, helps that I was forwarded this article yesterday 🙂  We can only tell next year how this year will be.  With hindsight being 20/20, I hope when we all look back at the year of the snake, it’ll bring no regrets, smiles and wonderful memories.

So from my family, especially my little Goddaughter to yours:-

HUAT AH!!