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Dear Little Ones (Some Aren’t So Little Anymore)

/ carlenetan / Leave a comment

Once covid wrapped up, I thought life would resume back to normal and one of the “normal” was hanging out with the kids in my life. With a compromised immune system, I wasn’t seeing anyone much less the kids who everyone kept reminding me are germ infested on the best of days. Left to video calls and texts, the kids were constantly reminding me that they were all rooting for me.

I officially became an aunt 20 years ago when my cousin and my best friend had their sons. Along the way, I was very blessed with more and more kids coming into my life. There are a couple more due this year too. So from 20 year olds to new borns, I’m grateful my family and friends trust me to hang out with their little ones and hopefully become the favourite aunt 😉 Today one of the these kids, my 17 year old goddaughter got on a plane for Canada to start her next stage of school; and this week’s life lesson is going to come in a form of a letter to these kids in my life. They’ve all heard/read me say this to them in one way or another but the last year crystallised this hope I have for them – Believe in yourself.

Dear Little Ones,

You all came into my life in so many different ways and I’m so very grateful that you all did. In many more ways, you’ve all taught me a lot of things too and in the last year, I’ve been so touched by all your love and support through one of the craziest years of my life. Your texts, calls, cards, letters made feeling sick easier and reminded me how blessed I am with the village that continues to raise me.

As you all grow, you’ll come to this realisation yourselves. Like me, you’re all blessed with great villages that love, support and believe in you. And for all of you I hope this life lesson comes to you sooner rather than later – Believe in yourself.

The world we live in is a crazy one. Social media makes it even harder. There are going to be dark days, tough ones when you feel completely alone, in spite of the village. That’s when this life lesson kicked in for me. In the darkest of moments, when you are left on your own, you slowly learn and in my case with the grace of God, to believe in yourself.

As different as all of you are from each other, I know this is the same – each of you have a unique ability that makes you YOU and when you discover that about yourself, you will be stronger than you ever thought about yourself.

So go forth believe in yourself, trust yourself, find your voice and tell your story. When you’re ready, I’ll be right here ready to listen.

With So Much Love,

Coco/Yiyi/Godma/Aunty Carlene

From Michonne to Okoye

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Michonne was my favourite character from the moment I saw her with her pet zombies in The Walking Dead which I re-binged during my treatment. When she yielded her samurai sword, I was reminded how I was completely sold on her. And recently I finally caught up with Wakanda Forever and Okoye intrigued me in a similar way. There is something about independent women in stories that I’ve always been drawn to. Post chemo treatment though, it was all about hair and the lack of.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is walking_dead_season_3_michonne_301_a_h.jpg.webp

Watching Okoye made me miss my bald head. I surprised even myself how comfortable I got with my bald head and learnt that push come to shove, I will pick function over design. After the second chemo session, my hair started falling out; in a male balding pattern kinda of way … maybe that’s how all heads bald. 5 days after the second session which works out to be about a year ago give or take a week, my husband pulled out his shaver, hoped it would work on my head and I sat in the middle of the kitchen as he started shaving my head.

It wasn’t perfect but I remember feeling very free. Since the shaver couldn’t get a close clean shave, my Dad took me to our friendly neighbourhood barber to get it cleaned up.

And my Dad got his head shaved too! Here we are as twins! All I need is a moustache and a goatee 😉 Being bald was very easy. When I came back from the barber and jumped in the shower, I wiped my head dry and that was it. I laid down for a nap, instinctively thought my head would be too damp and touched my pillow which was of course, bone dry. When you have no energy from chemo, having no hair was one less thing to worry about and that’s what I loved about being bald. It was so so easy. Although, I had to find ways to cover my head to keep it warm. I got cold quick with a bald head.

There are a number of things I learnt from being bald. The first is that life can surprise you in ways you least expect it to. If someone told me last year that I would have enjoyed being bald, I would think they would be off their rockers but I did. This reminded me of the Buddhist parable where he turned arrows aimed at him into flowers and how things may seemingly be bad but doesn’t have to be. That’s my life lesson from being bald. While my hair is growing back, my Dad is keeping his bald. It’s a good look on him too, if I don’t say so myself. I’m keeping an even more open mind about life experiences which brings me back to Michonne. Should I add “getting dreadlocks” to my bucket list?

I’m back in action

/ carlenetan / Leave a comment

After two glorious weeks of meditating, working on an organic farm and chilling, I'm all ready for the world.

Korea2007Jun
Korea2007Jun

My camera really doesn't do the place justice.  Surrounded by mountains that were covered with a magical mist, I felt I was on a floating island in the sky 🙂

Korea_MothKorea_LadybugKorea_Spider

Check out the insect life I was so curious about.  I actually watched a spider spin his whole web and it was amazing how it knew about physics and geometry.

And lookee what we have here … it's a tomato I found …

Korea_TomatoLove
Korea_TomatoLove

One heart shaped tomato 🙂 It's my sign that the world is full of love … yeah, I'm a hopeless optimist but I won't have it any other way :)  Anyway, it's hard not to be in awe of miracles when you're out in nature :P 

Korea_Flower01Korea_Flower02Korea_Flower03Korea_Flower04Korea_Flower05


  

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Overdue: The Wedding

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Not as late as the Hong Kong posts but it has been about 3 and a half weeks since I officially became A Wife :P  Still not use to it but I'm so very grateful to my parents for letting me have the wedding I wanted to have.  Yep, I was never the little girl who imagined a GRAND wedding, in my head it was a lot simpler too but I have to say the whole event went better than I could have imagined it.  A homely ceremony with my dearest family and friends there to share it – warm, loving, fun and very very special.  Thank you, Daddy and Mummy for being the cool, fantastic and young (that's what all my friends said) parents who made it all possible.

*psst don't tell anyone, but it's my sister who keeps my parents cool and fantastic (the young bit … they do that very well by themselves) so kudos goes out to my Charlie too!!!*

IMG_2249
IMG_2249

And thank you my dear dear friends who woke up early on a Saturday morning, answered silly questions, ate cupcakes, drank Snapple and most of all fill the day with so much love.  Thank you.

11 Come What May
11 Come What May

And for those who weren't there, this was the song my Dad and I walked down the aisle with.  Technically, A. and I don't have a song … does that make it our song now?  Anyway, we chose it mostly because it was one of the first few songs we both like and it was a song A. has serenaded to me once … yeah, he gets a little silly sometimes and when the mood hits him, he'll sing :)  He's done musicals before so I don't know why I'm surprised every time he sings.

Unknown to A. though, I actually watched Moulin Rouge in Banff when I first met him.  I thought it was a real kick ass romantic movie and it was the same trip, I told myself that I'll return to Banff for my honeymoon too.  So maybe some things are meant to be 🙂

P/S: Still waiting for the professional pictures so will update as soon as I get them 😉

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Overdue: Hong Kong day02 …

/ carlenetan / Leave a comment

… the Filmart was pretty quiet and I think it's because we got there on the 3rd day … so not sure if we'll be coming again next year.  Besides the ferry, this trip was a real treat for me coz A. (then boyfriend and now husband) decided to come to Hong Kong for a short break too. 

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It was a real treat because when we go away, it's usually back to Canada to visit his family or to Australia to visit mine.  So we completely lapped up the whole experience … we're not sure if we'll be back to Hong Kong any time soon though … shopping and desserts aside, the pollution made the whole experience very very undesirable except when I was on the ferry (yeah, I really liked it)

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Survivor Withdrawal and Yul rocks!!!

/ carlenetan / 1 Comment

It's over … Survivor:Cook Islands … it's over and I'm a little bit at a lost of what to read on the net now.  It was a great season and the guy I was rooting for won :)  Very satisfying like a good meal when you're starving.

Yul_wins
Yul_wins

Honestly, if Ozzy won … I'd be happy too but it was really great to have Yul win.  He truly deserve it, I mean it's very much a social game so the winner had to be more than just a fierce competitor like Ozzy was.  Ozzy was truly one of the most craziest competitor ever, in my opinion he's some mutant … some X-men of sorts 😛

For whatever it's worth, this was one of the best seasons of Survivor and all thanks to Candice for the mutiny that made it all crazy and created the greatest underdog since David – Aitutonga!!!!!

Aitu_rocks
Aitu_rocks

Oh well … till the next thing I get hooked on … I'll be re-reading the survivor news … oh wait, is Grey's Anatomy Season 3 on DVD already?

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Survivor Frenzy

/ carlenetan / Leave a comment
Survivor13_logo
Survivor13_logo

I just finished watching episode 11 of Survivor: Cook Islands.  Can you believe it's the 13th season of Survivor?  I stop watching after season 3 … it was in Africa or something, I can't remember except that it got boring … you know, the same strategies, the same kind of stereotypical cast … so I stopped watching it … that and I moved into my own place without a TV :P  However, with season 13, Mark Burnett decided to divide the tribes by race and that intrigued me… I started reading about it, what happens in each episode … as a social project I thought it was pretty interesting.  After two episodes, they merge them all and it was like a normal survivor and I thought … ok, I'm going to stop watching it. 

Survivor13_Contestants
Survivor13_Contestants

Then I was in LA for work and watched the recap episode as well as some pivotal episodes, mainly just the MUTINY one which practically sucked me into this season.  Mostly because of the diverse range of tribe members … many of which were picked off the streets.  Other than that, the producers basically did the usual things to stir up drama.  So I think for the newer seasons, they should really keep up this MO – mix up the cast with people who applied with people who really don't have a clue about the series and in all honesty don't quite care for it but are game to try anything for a million dollars.  Opens the game play to a wide opportunity of new strategies :)  For anyone who's watching it currently watching it on channel 5, don't miss episode 8 … you so won't regret it.  It brings new meaning to the David and Goliath.

Survivor13_Yul
Survivor13_Yul

Ok, I'll 'fess up here's the reason why I'm into this season too …  cute, smart and check out those abs … I'm a total ab girl and you know, he's really really sweet … or at least the version the producers choose to portray on TV.  Oh well, that's why I love crushes, celebrities or otherwise, they are exactly how you imagine them to be in your head and it never becomes real and have no chance of getting bad :)  I love crushes ;) 

In real life, I'm as lucky as I am in my head … AJM is sweet, funny, smart and best of all, kind :)  So  a girl can sometimes have her cake and eat it too … the thing is though, good things never ever lasts but hey, that's life … up and down and up and down … if not, life would be boring like the rest of the Survivor seasons … I rather take my chances with a little more excitment and great opportunities for the underdog like Suvivor: Cook Islands 🙂

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It’s time for a haircut

/ carlenetan / 2 Comments
Wags_Dec2006_03 Wags_Dec2006_02 Wags_Dec2006_01

What choice do you have when you're on chilling in bed, doing window shopping online and a completely adorable puppy looks longingly at you?  Yep, no choices, so I whipped out my camera.

Wags was none to impress.  I honestly think it's not because I was sticking a camera into her face but because she's way overdue for a hair cut … hmmm … would it be fur cut for doggies?  Which ever you know what I mean. 

Meanwhile, she is very cute like a mop of fur scurrying around the house :)  I'll have my fun with the scruffy Wags till my sister takes her for her next grooming and she'll look like this again …

Wags_July2006
Wags_July2006

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