kids

Dear Little Ones (Some Aren’t So Little Anymore)

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Once covid wrapped up, I thought life would resume back to normal and one of the “normal” was hanging out with the kids in my life. With a compromised immune system, I wasn’t seeing anyone much less the kids who everyone kept reminding me are germ infested on the best of days. Left to video calls and texts, the kids were constantly reminding me that they were all rooting for me.

I officially became an aunt 20 years ago when my cousin and my best friend had their sons. Along the way, I was very blessed with more and more kids coming into my life. There are a couple more due this year too. So from 20 year olds to new borns, I’m grateful my family and friends trust me to hang out with their little ones and hopefully become the favourite aunt 😉 Today one of the these kids, my 17 year old goddaughter got on a plane for Canada to start her next stage of school; and this week’s life lesson is going to come in a form of a letter to these kids in my life. They’ve all heard/read me say this to them in one way or another but the last year crystallised this hope I have for them – Believe in yourself.

Dear Little Ones,

You all came into my life in so many different ways and I’m so very grateful that you all did. In many more ways, you’ve all taught me a lot of things too and in the last year, I’ve been so touched by all your love and support through one of the craziest years of my life. Your texts, calls, cards, letters made feeling sick easier and reminded me how blessed I am with the village that continues to raise me.

As you all grow, you’ll come to this realisation yourselves. Like me, you’re all blessed with great villages that love, support and believe in you. And for all of you I hope this life lesson comes to you sooner rather than later – Believe in yourself.

The world we live in is a crazy one. Social media makes it even harder. There are going to be dark days, tough ones when you feel completely alone, in spite of the village. That’s when this life lesson kicked in for me. In the darkest of moments, when you are left on your own, you slowly learn and in my case with the grace of God, to believe in yourself.

As different as all of you are from each other, I know this is the same – each of you have a unique ability that makes you YOU and when you discover that about yourself, you will be stronger than you ever thought about yourself.

So go forth believe in yourself, trust yourself, find your voice and tell your story. When you’re ready, I’ll be right here ready to listen.

With So Much Love,

Coco/Yiyi/Godma/Aunty Carlene

What Kind of Mother Would I Have Been?

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Growing up I always thought I’d have kids, at least two of them and if wishes came true, five or more! LOL I always did want loads of children but as life would have it, it doesn’t usually go according to plan and my maternal role is played out with my nephews, nieces, god kids and little friends.

Mothers. They come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Some women are a natural at it and make mothering look so easy. Yet there are some who abandoned their roles and leave vacuums to be filled by others who take up the challenge. In my lifetime, I’ve been blessed to have the former but I’ve also seen how the latter leaves permanent impact for better or worse. It’s not something I can understand, not having a mother be there for me and yet, I’ve had some friends tell me that they rather not have a mother at all than their abusive selfish mothers.

Like everything else in life, there isn’t a perfect mother and if I had a chance of being one, I would like to think I learnt from my own Mother, my Mama (paternal grandma) and my Popo (maternal grandma) and simply just love my children with all my heart. Sure, it isn’t quite as simple as that, children can drive you crazy. From my own childhood and now watching my little ones grow up, children can really test you! I hope I would have had the patience to listen, to support and to encourage.

I also hope I won’t forget to be a good wife because I think most mothers do, even fathers forget how to be good husbands. Children can take over our lives. I hope I would have remembered that it’s about being a family and not just a mother.

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I may never have any kids on my own but I definitely have kids whom I mother with all my heart; where the definition of family is much larger and Mother’s Day is just as special.

It took a couple of years but I’ve learnt sometimes life doesn’t turn out like you planned but that’s because your plan wasn’t right to begin with 🙂

The Art of Being an Adult Child

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This weekly post is a day late because I’m sitting in the Bali airport waiting for my flight to go back home to Singapore. It was the first solo weekend getaway with my Mum, it was also her first time to Bali. And it was a success, imho 🙂

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I’ve managed to make my Mum fall in love with Bali as much as I do. Honestly, before I wasn’t sure because there’s certain things my Mum doesn’t like … messy developing states and humid weather, just to name a couple but she does LIKE Bali, its massages and chilling by the villa!! That’s what I like being an adult child, being the one who opens our parents mind to something different, something new, something they would never do on their own. They did it for us while we were growing up and now as they are learning to get use to the next phase of their life -their silver years. They have to get use to us, the adult child being the ones who do the parenting.

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It’s so easy to see the stuff our parents do that drive us crazy, you know the stuff we complain about and eventually become 😉 Yah, those parts. For better or worse, I’m grateful I like my parents and if I’m eventually going to be like them, it isn’t going to be that bad. For me at least, not sure about my husband 🙂 Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t perfect … far from it but they’ve who I got and they made me. You’ve heard the saying, ” Karma’s a bitch.” I’m my parents karma despite their pretty easy going ways raising me, I’m not an easy going adult child. I’m not quite sure why, I’m just not. I yell, I’m bossy and I’m controlling as hell but I’m learning trying to figure out life, being an adult, being me and when it comes to my parents, being an adult child.

I read a good advice somewhere once about how to be a good parent. It was simple. Just show up, be present and be there. It’s true, it really is quite that simple. You can’t always be there, can’t always be present and other times you simply can’t show up. Things happen, they do but you try your darn-est. Kids will get it. Me and my sister do.

So that’s what I’m learning about being an adult child, just try my best to show up, be present and be there. Next, to show up and be present while trying to open my parents’ mind to Google Drive and Dropbox 🙂

The Little Mermaid

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I remember being 14 and loving this movie.  Little did I know, I’d actually build a career around animation.

My slightly more than 2 and a half year old godson, Christian recently saw it for the first time and Under the Sea is what he’s got the beat for nowadays.  So during our date yesterday, he and I watched it together.  Despite being 27 years old, The Little Mermaid doesn’t feel dated at all.  Still made me do a little jig, root for Ariel and wish I could be a mermaid.

In 2037, I hope when people watch the reruns of Insectibles, they’ll feel the same way 🙂

 

Rachael Turns 5

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5 years ago today, after work I rushed to Gleneagles Hospital to meet my first little Goddaughter except she was in NICU and had to be there for about 48hours.  It was a little worrying at first but now that’s all in the past and she turns 5 this year.

Time seems to be flying us by and to be perfectly honest I’m not quite prepared for her turn 5.  Here’s how much I’m not.  When I was wrapping her present and her sister’s belated one, I wrote the right age for her sister, 8 and I know jolly well she’s only 3 years younger than her sister which makes her 5 but I wrote “Happy 4th Birthday”. When I collected her cake, I told the bakery I only needed 4 candles.  During the party and the girls were opening their presents I realised the mistake I did.  Yet when we were putting her candles on, I was going to put only 4 again till her 8 year old sister asked if I was alright and gave me a quizzical look like I’m losing my mind.

Yes, my baby Rachael, I’m not quite ready for you to grow up but grow up you so shall be doing.  One day, you’ll be 12, then 18, 21 and heaven forbid 30 and I’ll still treat you like my little one 🙂  Meanwhile, I’m enjoying 5 year old you.  You have this sense of humour that is pretty much like your Godpa.  You’re still super shy outside the house with strangers but a bundle of laughs when you’re all comfortable.  With your little Godsister, Caitlin, you’re the wonderful Cheachea (big sister).  I’m loving the connection we have and want to stretch your creative capabilities.  Thank you for always sharing how you see the world with me.  I live for your hugs and laughter that seem to make the world’s problems disappear.  Love you SO MUCH!!

My Niece Turns 8

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Today my first niece in my life turns 8 years old.  While I’m in Vancouver and she’s in Singapore but I’ll never let her forget how important she is in my life.  In her I see bits of her Mum, her Godma, her aunts and definitely bits of me.  I’m always so grateful for her life and how she lets me into it.  So this year on her 8th birthday, here’s my wish for her.

Dearest Mabel,

I say this every year, I can’t quite believe you’re 8 already.  You were just about 20months old at my wedding.  You’re such a tween already and in your ways I remember the growing pains of getting comfortable in your own skin.  Something I only learnt when I was in my 30s.  I’m hoping that lesson doesn’t elude you quite as long.  In the meantime, here’s Meryl Streep’s take on beauty:-

He would never imagine a blonde person could speak Italian – Meryl Streep

It’s always nice and a lot of fun to look pretty and yes, the world will always judge you by how you look.  Just remember though, it isn’t what the world thinks of you that is important.  It’s what you think of yourself and who you want to become.  Always stay true to the very best version of you.  It may take you a while to figure out who that is and when it gets tough, just remember you will figure it out one day.  Meanwhile, enjoy the ride and know we love you HEAPS!!!

XOXOXOXO

Coco Carlene

 

Happy First Birthday Christian

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Like most first birthdays, my Godson, Christian hasn’t quite grasp the gravity of the celebrations.  For me and the rest of his family, we can’t quite believe it’s been a year since this little angel has graced our lives with his sweet smiles and contagious laughter.

Went over to give him his present, a train set, which I reckon will keep him entertained till he’s about three.  Guess what?  He was more enamoured with the Sesame Street sticker that was on the wrapping.  Today he teaches me to keep it simple 🙂

Happy First Birthday my little buddy!!  May your life be filled with all you need to make your dreams come true and keep your heart as pure as it is today.  Love you to bits, little one.

 

Lunch Time Dates

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I love lunch time dates!!  They give me a break in the work day and make me smile like no other things can.  So when Raewyn’s Mum asked me over for lunch, I jumped at the chance.

I had such a blast with Raewyn that I can’t wait for the next date.  The last time I saw her was at her one month.

The picture on the left is from her party and the picture on the right is from today 🙂 Look how she’s grown and into a real sweetie too.  She let me cuddle her, play with her, we even made funny faces together and let me take numerous pictures of her.  Isn’t she such a sweetheart?

It’s really easy to see why too.  Her Mummy, Tess is one of the gentlest soul I know.  I can’t wait to see this little one grow up into the fine lady I know she’ll become.  Till then, I can’t wait for our next lunch date little one 🙂

Inheriting Cheekiness

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I don’t know if it’s all genetics or it’s from observing how adults act around us that we become who we are and develop quirks that actually run in the family.  Growing up I noticed, I’d do things like how my parents would or my grandparents too.  Now that I’m older I even notice that among my cousins, we have this big smile that’s pretty consistent in the family.  So when my little goddaughter, Rachael is cheeky, I know it’s something that may run deep in her genes and I should know.

Who taught whom?  I wonder 🙂  In my attempt to collect pictures of us, she’ll sometime sabotage the picture taking.  As above the example reflects.  Her sense of humour cracks me up.  I’m waiting for the time when she’s a tween and it’ll border belligerence … again something I can completely relate too.

All I can say is my heart goes out to my cousin and his wife … they should really ask my parents how they dealt with me and my smart ass 😉

Lunch Time Toddlers

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The last time I caught up over lunch with this little young’un was nearly a year and a half ago.  That’s pretty much half her lifetime.  Though I’ve seen her since then, namely during her Godma’s wedding and prep, it’s a long over due lunch date :p

She’s a little girl who’s a big sister now.  Just about 2 weeks ago, she welcomed her baby sister Mikayla into this great big world.  I love little sister pairing.  Guess I’m kinda bias because I’m one half of a sister pair.  Back to the Belle.  She may look like her Dad but she’s definitely got her aunt/Godma’s gene strong in her too.

Over lunch, her Godma and my dear friend, Gen said to me, “It’s like I gave birth to her.” I totally get it, this pseudo parenting that is slowly but surely getting more and more popular.  We don’t actually carry the babies and don’t fully adopt them but the love and connection is just as strong.  Here’s when I realise the saying that it takes a village to raise a child, makes so much sense.  Nothing replaces the bond a parent has with their child, it gives every child the fundamentals that they need and why good parenting is so damn important.  Aunts, uncles, grandparents, godparents, teachers, mentors, adult friends, they all play different roles that fill these children’s wells with more love, support, life lessons, guidance, direction and examples that they can reach into when life gets tough.  And life will get tough but they’ll keep learning from us.  Just like how we’re better from our parents’ generation, they will be better than us.

There is much hope for the world so have a happy Monday everyone as I take another shower to cool off from this humid heat in Singapore.