The Impossibility of Healthy Relationships

Today, I feel like post SATC sequel, Carrie in NYC, sitting in a Starbucks with my Soy Chai Latte, musing over relationships and what not, inspired to type away on my Macbook Air.  Except of course, no movie has been made about my friends and I … and I’m just Carlene in Singapore.  Doesn’t quite have the same ring but lately, post TF sequels to boot, my life has taken a turn away from hot sexy robots to the pondering on relationships in franchised coffee chains.  Brought on largely with what’s going on with my friends and their struggles with relationships and on a personal level, wondering if I’m as well adjusted as I think I am to be a part of a matured healthy relationship for the rest of my life.

So as I pretentiously keep typing on my laptop, I ask myself ala Carrie in the first few seasons of the TV series.  Is it possible to be a well adjusted individual in a healthy relationship?

*Cue CUT to mid shot and Carlene serendipitously look up to see a young couple staring longingly at each other as their respective Frappuccinos melt away in the Singapore humidity.*

A relationship take two to rock so it takes TWO well adjusted individuals to make a relationship healthy.  It’s tough enough being a well adjusted individual, try looking for another one.  We live in a world where being self absorbed is more a right than a flaw.  Instant gratification with overwhelming consumerism are natural parts of everyone’s make up.  Even the best of us, Nelson Mandala, Ghandi, Martin Luther King may not have been the best people to share a relationship with.

Healthy relationships are as real as the tooth fairy?

The cynical part of me sucks on a cigarette slowly, stares into the crowd and let’s out a simple ‘yes’

Thankfully, Cynical Carlene locks herself in her little studio apartment filled with her best impression of Pollock only to come out when hormone levels have gone astray.

Today, Carlene, glass is always half full and things can always be worse, The Optimus Bride  says, “No, healthy relationship where both people (or robots) inspire each other, support each other and make each other laugh is possible … it’s hard as hell but totally possible.”

How?

Compromising without losing yourself.  That’s the kicker for me.  When you’re in a good place and your partner is in a good place, it’s hard not to support, inspire and make each other laugh.  Another life lesson that I haven’t graduated from though is this, in order to compromise without losing yourself, you first have to be secure about yourself, love and know who you are.  That’s the tough bit for most of us and even in our 30s, I’m realising that a hell lot of us haven’t got a clue who we truly are.  So we keep learning, wanting to make it better and learning to be responsible.  That’s the best we can do, each of us working at making ourselves the better half of healthy relationships and recognizing that your partner is working just as hard, if not harder than you.  If everyone does that, we’ll all be parts of healthy relationships 🙂

My Daddy always reminds me that there’ll be good days and bad days.  At the end of it all when you look back, hopefully there’ll be more good days than bad.

Today is another opportunity to make it a good day 🙂  Rolling out.

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