The last time I wrote a post about breaking up, I was far removed from it and could actually write intelligently about it. Talking about distractions. This time it’s a little closer to heart so I can feel the pain. Even in our 30s, a break up is a break up and no matter how many times you’ve gone through it … it still hurts like hell. Watching a good friend go through it, I can’t help but tear a little because there really isn’t a good way to break up. Even if you can logically explain it in your head and make sense of it all, your heart still feels like it’s been stomped on.
I remember it clearly and have no wish to ever feel it again … maybe that’s why people get married … in vain hope that break up pain is over for good. To all those singles who are naive to think that, please please please DO NOT get married YET.
Anyway, when someone chooses someone else over you, I don’t know which is worse the hurt or the humiliation. Either way, I wish telling my friend that it may get worse before it gets better and you’ll be a stronger man after all this, will help him. I know it won’t. Nothing I say is going to change how sucky it feels … and sucky doesn’t quite cut it either. So I’ll just be a friend, hold his hand, listen and just sit quietly next to him as he silently processes through the pain.
The life lesson I’m getting from all this is, if you ever have to break someone’s heart, there really is no good way of doing it. The decent thing you can do though is be respectful after the fact, don’t flaunt your new found happiness or give the person whose heart was broken any hope. If you’re guilty, go deal with it ON YOUR OWN, don’t try being nice in any other way to elevate your guilt, it is tantamount to giving hope.
With all that said, when any of my munchkins have to go through this, I hope they are ones doing the dumping as opposed to being the one being dumped. Having done both, I don’t like how either feels but dumping always is easier than being the one dumped.
One last lesson, at the end of the day, everyone wants to be loved. So don’t forget to hug that special someone, your friends, your sister, your brother, your parents and let them know that they’re the ones that make going through the difficult times that much easier.