I wished the last weekend started so so differently. You’d think in the 21st century, the human race would be over fundamentalism and everyone would know better. Yes yes yes, I’m an idealist that way. I believe the world could be a better place, people are compassionate and unconditional love will conquer all. But even I get worn down by senseless, hateful crimes. It’s incredibly sad when it’s people far away, in a land so removed from our own but when it’s so close to home, the sadness hits harder and the senselessness so much more pronounced.
I wrote a whole post on Saturday night. It was angry, very angry and I don’t even know Hwei Yen. We just live in the same country. I can’t imagine how her family and friends must feel and my post just got angrier and angrier. My 23 year old self would have uploaded it and be done with it but the 33 year old me, knew better than to be ranting like a lunatic. And the post was deleted.
Sunday came and then Monday and Tuesday, I’ve tried not to let it affect me but I find myself going to bed at night thinking about how scared she must have been, how braved she had to be … not just her but everyone of them and every other person who has had to face such meaningless fights. And it is meaningless, even fighting back … …
It has to get better, right? Please tell me it does. Only because I can’t imagine us, mankind not learning from all of this.
That’s why I don’t do absolutes, especially when it comes to God. No one can know for sure what is and is not a sin, who’s to judge and at the end of it all, it’s just between me and Him. No one else. So while I take great comfort that Hwei Yen is in His arms, I take greater comfort that those responsible for the deaths face their creator just like all of us. Good luck to them coz I’m pretty sure, where they’re going, luck isn’t going to mean squat. That may not work for a lot of people out there and it may not even be true but in my little world, that’s how it works and it’ll help me to sleep better tonight.
In my little world, my two grandmas and my grandpa is showing Hwei Yen around heaven and I’m looking forward to the day when it’s my turn 🙂 Meanwhile, good night and sweet dreams everyone.